small scale

Note: I wrote this last week, but due to week #1 of crazy, didn't get it posted until now.  Feel free to time travel back to last Monday.

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I don’t really even want to count the number of grade-able things that are about to happen in my life.  We’re in the beginning of two straight weeks of testing, with one day even having three tests.  Kinda crazy.

Whenever I have an especially difficult stretch at school, I always say to Jeremy, “I can do anything for ___ days, right?” to which he responds, “Of course you can!” and then he proceeds to make a list of all the things I have to look forward to in the coming days.  Then, as the days drag on, we continue our countdown, and I look forward to whatever breather is ahead.

This time, my breather is even better than it has been all year- at the end of these two weeks, I get to take a super-great elective class, then I get over a month off!  Oh, glory!  I’m pretty excited to go home, do a little traveling, sleep, etc.

I just keep looking forward to what’s ahead.


Strangely enough, on this Sunday before two weeks of crazy, I heard a sermon preached on enduring what’s going on in your life by looking to what’s ahead.

We’ve been studying Romans 12 lately, and our key verse of the day was verse 12:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Pastor Charles defined hope as having “confident, joyful expectation of what you know is coming, but you just don’t have it yet.”  He said that when you’re looking forward to something that is really good, your current circumstances don’t seem so bad.

As he said that, I grinned to myself.  “Ahhh… summer break.  You make me know that I can make it for just a few more weeks…”


But as you can probably imagine, Pastor Charles wasn’t talking about the hope of summer vacation to help get me through finals.  No, he was talking about the hope that Christians have in heaven that helps us see the trials of life in proper perspective.

There are several words that reoccur when Christians talk about such themes: tribulation and endurance.  The word “tribulation” in the Greek connotates pressure or being pushed down.  Oh, how often can that be what life feels like.  On the flip side, however, is the word “endurance,” which basically refers to us being able to push back or stand up under the pressure.

How is hope in heaven able to help us push back the pressure?

Streets of gold and the River of Life and all that stuff is a nice thought, but it’s not enough to give me the will to endure.  We can experience joyful expectancy of heaven because we’ll get to see God in all His glory.  My small brain can’t even wrap itself around what that would be like, but I live in anticipation that I will someday.

Instead of trying to wrap our minds around God in all His glory at this moment in time (I get the feeling that's what I'm going to spend most of the rest of my life doing), let’s look at what a few New Testament writers say about hope, especially during tribulation:

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.  We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.  Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.  For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”  Romans 8:18-25

“But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.  For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.  He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.  Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  I Thessalonians 5:8-11

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.  It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,  while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,  who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”  Titus 2:11-14

“Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath.  God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.  We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”  Hebrews 6:17-19

An anchor for the soul?  How beautiful is that?  These guys seemed pretty convinced that what is to come completely overshadows whatever trials they were going through.

I think that if we were to examine the character of God without our preconceived notions, we would all agree that His unbridled glory is something to anticipate.  But one question still remains:  Why on earth would a good God allow this to happen to us?  Although this isn’t a complete “why do bad things happen to good people” answer, Pastor Charles suggested three reasons.

1) God will take it as an opportunity to show His glory.

2) It is good for me, not because I find it enjoyable, but because it will, if I let it, help me to become more like Christ.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

3) It will give me the opportunity to bless others.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

When a person decides to follow Christ, they willingly take up the tribulations that come with the job description.

"Remember the words I spoke to you, 'No servant is greater than his master.'  If they persecuted me they will persecute you also."  John 15:20a

In a similar manner, when I decided to attend medical school, I knew that I would be placing myself in a place of great pressure (tribulation!).  This doesn’t stop me from pushing forward, and even rejoicing, because I know that I have hope that one day I will be given the title of Dr. Catherine.  Even more immediate, I know that once I make it through the next two weeks, I will be given the reward of summer vacation.

May the upcoming trials that I go through, even on the small scale of finals week, be claimed as an opportunity to become more like Christ, to be a comfort and encouragement to my classmates, and most importantly, to glorify God.


Lord Jesus, 

The reason that I live is for the glory of Your name.  Oh, how I long to catch a glimpse of Your glory.  If tribulation is what it takes to participate for now, I pray that you will give me the strength to endure.  I ask that You would make this hope that the apostles wrote of real in my life.

May Your name be glorified in my finals week. 

Amen.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13

______ -confidence

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:16

I commented to a friend the other day that I feel like I have more confidence than I ever have had in my life.  I'm learning to trust my gut instinct.  I'm excited about who I am and what I'm becoming.  It's a joyful thing.  She has experienced something similar, and we talked about how strange that is, considering the fact that we feel cut down and defeated almost weekly by one exam or another.

It can't be an increase in self-confidence- I definitely don't have enough self-confidence in my body to fill my big toe, let alone to have gotten me through this year.


This has been one of the hardest years of my life.  For the first time, I've actually consciously and consistently needed God.  I know it might sound strange, but this is the first time that I've ever had to cling to Him- simply to get me through each day.

My friend and I concluded after briefly looking over the year in review that what we have gained was not an increase in self-confidence, but in God-confidence.

And He, my friends, is proving to be a much more reliable source of confidence than I have ever been for myself.

Praise be to God for His constant and reliable nature!  All glory to Him for the strength that is at work in me!  To Him belongs the honor for the purpose and direction in my life, forever and ever!  Amen.

"My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared."  -Proverbs 3:21-26

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him." -Jeremiah 17:17

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." -2 Corinthians 4:7-9

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."  -1 John 5:14

It’s all down hill from here, right?

When you were a kid, did you ever have a race down a really long, really steep hill?

My siblings and I did.  I’m pretty sure our goal was not necessarily to see who could make it to the bottom first, but to see who could make it to the bottom without falling.  I can remember the feeling like it was yesterday.   

Scene: Big Creek Park Trails.  Occasion: Mother’s Day hike (an annual Weyers’ family tradition). 

We’d start at the top, probably with Joshua beginning before the rest of us. 

The first few steps aren’t so bad.  Normal pace, lungs are fine.  The farther down the hill you race, the faster you pick up momentum.  The more your lungs start to burn.  Your knees throb.  You hope that you don’t hit a bump, because you know that if you do, you’re going down, and it’s gonna hurt. 

WHEW!  Made it to the bottom!  Panting, watching my siblings prance around like little deer, ready to take on another one. 

Me?  I'll just take a little breather...

Even though I’m the oldest, I probably never won.  It might be because I’m actually the slowest.  Or maybe because I’m not dumb enough to pound my lower limbs against the ground in a way that would make me win.  Or maybe it's because my lungs feel like they're going to explode 3 seconds in (exertional dyspnea anyone?).

Eh.  I still make it to the bottom, and that’s good enough for me.

Sometimes I think that participating in a quarter of medical school is like running a race down a really long hill.  It doesn’t start out too bad, but the farther you get into the quarter, the more you feel the burn.  The faster you pick up momentum, the more you fear that one small bump in the path will send you tumbling.  Sometimes, the only thing you can focus on is staying upright.  Then, somehow you magically make it to the bottom and collapse into an exhausted heap.  I might not win, but I make it to the bottom, and that's good enough for me.

I’m at the point in the semester in which I’m starting to feel a little teetery.  Just as my feet hit the ground more rapidly as I near the bottom of the hill, my mind is meeting test after test with greater frequency.  I'm getting tired, but I can't stop now.  The momentum is too great.

Oh, sweet Lord Jesus, please keep me from falling.

 “To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.” -Jude 1:24-25