Matthew 5:3-8

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

 You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. 

 You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. 

 You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. 

 You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for. 

 You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world." 

[Matthew 5:3-8, the message translation]

Easter Tradition

I’ve been seriously considering skipping Easter this year- pretending like it’s not even happening.

A few weeks ago, I examined my schedule and decided that as much as I want to be home for the Easter holiday, I really need to stay in Kirksville and spend at least 1.5 days of that three day weekend studying.  My mom and I determined that not only would I have to drive quite a bit (not that much compared to most of my friends… but still), but I would also accomplish absolutely nothing at home.

I’ve always loved Easter.  In central Illinois, you never know what kind of weather you’re going to get.  Some years, it’s the first weekend that I wear shorts.  Other years it snows.  For many holidays, my family is as shifty as the weather.  We all pack in the van and roadtrip to any number of relative’s houses.  However, Easter is different.   We actually stay home.  We have traditions.

It starts with our attendance of the Easter Cantata at our church on Friday night.  From there, we go fishing many times.  Dad hides Easter eggs- hiding our own personal egg in a special place just for each individual kid.  We attend the sunrise service at church (that’s not at sunrise, thank God!).  Mom makes orange jello.  We usually eat a turkey that Dad or one of the other kids shot.  We dye Easter eggs and probably go fishing again.

I’m going to miss all that stuff.  Granted, Jeremy is coming to visit, and my sweet roommate will be here, but it just won’t be the same.  I’ve already cried several times just thinking about it.  Perhaps I’ll just pretend that Easter isn’t happening.

As much as Easter is layered with family traditions, that’s not the purpose of the day. 

On Easter morning, many years ago, a mysterious thing happened- a tomb that had been sealed over only three days prior was broken into… or was it broken out of?

The former inhabitant of the tomb was a man who had walked the earth for thirty three years, proclaiming that He was the Son of God.  He preformed miracles.  He was loving and inclusive in a way that flew in the face of modern convention. He made radical statements.  He knew the law of the religion and followed it… yet He said that He came to fulfill it.

This delighted some, and angered many.  That’s how He ended up being executed with common criminals.  Those who had loved him turned against him, whether in handing him over to be crucified, or by denying Him.  To the horror and shock of many, He who claimed to be God died like a man. 

He was buried in the tomb of a friend.  Some of His friends may have vaguely remembered that He said that He would raise the temple in three days, and may have vaguely remembered that He said that He would not stay dead.  But how were they to really believe that after the crazy turn of events that had just transpired?

Then came Easter morning… these people were not finding Easter eggs or attending morning services.  They were probably scared and confused.  One of the women that had been friends with the God-man came to the tomb early that morning, only to find it empty.  She ran to a man whom she assumed was the caretaker of the land surrounding the tomb.  Perhaps he would know who had moved the body of her friend, the man she had come to know as God. 

It was Him. 

There is one Easter tradition that I can continue on my own.  Ever since I was a junior higher, I’ve tried to get up a little before the rest of my family and slip outside with my Bible.  Admittedly, it’s become harder to get myself out of bed the last few years, and so I haven’t always followed through.  I wrap myself up in some big old hoodie and curl up on the porch, watching the sun rise. 

As I shiver in the morning air, I wonder what it was like, wondering if it seemed like the whole earth had crumbled to the ground when He died.  I wonder if the friends had any hope at all that He really was who He said He was. 

I read through the account of the events leading up to His death, then about His death, and finally, about His resurrection.   I wonder what it was like for them to see Him again, to put their fingers in His nail-scarred hands, and to have all of their doubt, fear, and trepidation replaced by awe and wonder. 

This man truly was the Messiah, the Son of God!

Family tradition of egg dying and Peeps and going fishing is wonderful, and I will miss it, but this is not the reason for Easter.  This story and the subsequent pondering that it provokes is the meaning of Easter. 

Is it simply a good story?  And if it is, is it fact or fiction?

The implications of God becoming a man are huge- and the fact that He was willing to accept a punishment that should have been ours to bear- that requires careful thought and consideration.

Even though I’ll miss being a part of my family’s traditions this weekend, I will continue to partake in the tradition of considering my response to the real Easter story.

rat race

On the way home after a long day of studying for block exams, two of my favorite songs from high school played back to back on the Christian radio station.  

“We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?” –“Meant to Live” by Switchfoot

“God I want to dream again

Take me where I’ve never been
I wanna go there

This time I’m not scared” –“Unbreakable” by Fireflight

Those songs fueled me in high school.  I had big dreams.  I knew that I was meant to live for so much more.  I wanted to dream again, to be taken where I’d never been.

Now here I am, somewhere in the middle of my dream, and I feel like I’ve stalled.  I have so many big ideas and plans and actions in my mind, but all I do is study.  I feel stuck in time.  It’s as if I’m in a hamster wheel that is stationary with respect to time, but I am running, running, running.  And the rest of the world moves in real time around my wheel… 

My brothers get taller, people get married, people have babies, seasons meld into each other.  And I keep running forward.  But not.

I know it’s all an illusion.  I know that I’m learning and growing.  It’s good.  Really.  But I don’t want to be running on a hamster wheel.  I want to take on the open road.  To see that my steps gain distance, not just another rotation.

I’m in an elective class called "Vulnerable Populations," and we’re talking about the marginalized in our society.  We talked last week about how dreams often exist within the minds of those in poverty.  The great American dream says that they will rise and achieve.  However, from our reading in “Nickel and Dimed” by Barbara Ehrenreich, as well as other articles, it seems like the vast majority are even afraid to dream, for fear that they would only be disappointed in the end. 

This is not my problem.  I have always been a dreamer.  I’ve wanted to be so many things with my life.  I’ve had so many visions about how my existence can have a positive effect on those around me.  I have been told that I can do anything I want and be anything I want if only I put my mind to it. 

Unlike the people I am reading about, I selected a career path not because it was the only job available, not because it was the only thing I was qualified for, and not because I needed to find a job as soon as possible to pay the accumulating bills.  I didn’t even choose my career path because of the money I would make.  I chose it because I believe I have the skills that it takes.  I chose it because I’ve been told many times that if I love what I do, my job won’t seem like work at all.  I chose this path because it seems fulfilling.

So many others do not have the privilege to choose in this way.  I'm a lucky, or blessed girl

But still I feel stuck and like I’m not fulfilling my big world-changing dreams right now.

Lately I’ve had an ongoing conversation with a buddy of mine.  He’s a dreamer too.  He’s also someone who has a keen eye for the injustices in the world.  When we lived in the same town, we’d stay up late, scheming how we would change the world.  We had good ideas, too.  

Now I’m here running, running, running.  And he’s there running, running, running.  And we both feel, in a way, like we’ve not lost our momentum, but that our energy is now spent pushing the hamster wheel.

This feeling of futility isn’t new.  On more than one occasion in college, I stormed into my adviser's office and proclaimed that if today was my last day on earth, I would much rather have spent it knee deep in social justice, not wasting my time on physics homework.  I still feel like that some days.  If today was the day before the arrival of Christ, or the day before I got into a fatal car accident, would I have wanted to spend it all alone in a study room or stuck in a lecture hall?

“We were meant to live for so much more!  Have we lost ourselves?!!”  That’s what I want to scream.

But what am I meant for?

I was made for the glory of God.  I was made to be faithful to Him, to enjoy Him. 

This God, whom I am learning to enjoy, gave me the skills, the desire, and the opportunity to become a doctor.  This is not separate from the reason I was made.  This God created people as the epitome of His creation.  

I have been called to care for His most valued creation.

Last week, I met with a few friends from my Bible study in the hospital’s chaplain's office.  My heart fluttered nervously in my chest.  We were there to learn how to enter into the suffering of another, to show compassion.  We did this in the form of taking emotional and spiritual histories.  In a way, it was kind of like taking the histories that we do in every one of our patient encounters.  Only not.

I can ask a patient about their physical status.  But about their emotions and spirituality?  That stuff is messy.  But it is, nonetheless, part of a person.  And whole person healthcare involves asking about the status of the non-physical parts.

We asked questions such as, 

“How has your time in the hospital been?”

“What has been your source of strength while here?

“How has any part of your illness been scary?”

“How has your illness affected the way you see yourself?”

“How has your illness affected the way you see God?”

We went not necessarily to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with patients, although each of us would have jumped at the opportunity to do so.  We went to show the love of Christ by caring about their deepest concerns.  How fulfilling it was to hear the stories of patients!  I became a steward of their fears and anxieties.  I became an ambassador to their healthcare team on how they could be cared for more fully.  It was an honor.

Some days I feel like I am running on a hamster wheel.  Some days I feel like it’s futile, as if my dreams are dangling in front of my nose, but just beyond the wheel.   

But then I remember that my dream is to serve the vulnerable- the sick, the broken, the people who may be stuck without dreams. 

Last week at Bible study, I was frustrated because I don’t feel like I’m doing anything right now to change the world.  Through the course of discussion, one of the guys piped up and said “But you don’t have to save the world.  Jesus already did that!”  He didn't know what was weighing on my mind, nor was the conversation directly about changing the world but I felt like he was speaking directly to me.

He’s absolutely right, you know.  Jesus saved the world.  All He calls me to do is serve Him in faithfulness.

I guess studying is being faithful. 

Back to the books… :)

Re-posted: Validation

Note: This is a re-post from my facebook notes from a few years ago.  I found myself thinking about this little clip this afternoon, and wanted to share it again!  So powerful!

Validation

I want to spend my life making people smile. That's why if the whole doctor thing doesn't work out, I'm going to be a Walmart greeter or design happy little hallmark cards or hug old ladies at nursing homes or something.  So when Miff showed us this video the other night, it made my heart especially happy. I love how Kurt Kuenne emphasizes that one person can bring so much joy with simple, sincere words and a smile.

Check it out! It's a little over 15 minutes, but it's definitely worth the time.



I pray that you feel validated today. Maybe somedays it's hard to feel like you're pretty enough, smart enough, fast enough, strong enough, etc. But really, you're wonderful, just because you're you. I've been reading Isaiah 43 over and over this week. I know it's speaking to the Israelites, but I have been chosen of God too, and His words are extremely validating. Check 'em out!

We are called to validate, to encourage. Merriam-Webster says that to encourage is "to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope, and 2. to spur on, to stimulate". We can find that same theme in Scripture too.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

I'm hoping to get a little bit better at this encouragement thing. Maybe if I ask Jesus for His eyes, then I will be able to truly see you for the incredibly great person that you are.

He'd probably have me say something like,  

"You are beautiful." 

"You have a great smile. Did you know that the One who formed the heavens molded your face?"

"You are unique. You are a treasure. Did you know that the Son of Man is seeking you out?"


"You are precious in His sight. He loves you because you're you, and because of all the crazy ways He created you to bless the world."

Yup. You're pretty neat, and I'm blessed to know you.

May you find validation in Him, and may you in turn validate others, and may I do the same.

Peace.


cat

Horsepower

Jeremy got a new car last weekend after having a rental car for over a week.  His rental car was really nice, with lots of great features.  As he went through the process of picking out a new car, he found a great deal on a car that was very similar to the rental.

When he got his new car, I asked him if it was as nice as the rental, and with a slight hint of regret in his voice, he said, “No.”

I asked what was different, and he talked about the various upgrades that the rental had- the stereo, the seats, etc.  But the biggest difference to him was the size of the motor.  Apparently the rental had a much bigger motor.  

“What’s the point of having a bigger motor if you’re not legally supposed to push it to its maximal potential?  It’s no big deal to have a smaller motor, right?”

He looked at me and shook his head, as if I had no idea what I was saying.

My good lookin' guy and his good lookin' car

This Sunday at church, the pastor reminded us of the amazing privilege Christians have to be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit.  He brought out the point that we often forget about what we have inside us, and thus don’t take advantage of it.

As I sat in my pew, I thought to myself that containing the Holy Spirit is kind of like housing a big ole' V6 engine.

Just as you would miss out if you had a big engine in your car and never experienced its acceleration and speed, having access to the Holy Spirit within you and never tapping into His power limits our capabilities to live for Jesus Christ.

Here are a few of my favorite verses about the purpose and workings of the Holy Spirit.  Feel free to add your own in the comments section!  Perhaps by recognizing His power as seen in Scripture, we will be able to participate in this wonderful gift more fully!

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth.  The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.  But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you… All this I have spoken while still with you.  But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”  John 14: 16-17, 26

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.  After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight.”  Acts 2:7-8

“And you also were included with Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation.  Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession – to the praise of his glory.”  Ephesians 1:13-14

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”  Romans 8:26

“We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.  To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.”  Colossians 1:29

“What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.  Guard the good deposit that was entrusted you – guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.”  2 Timothy 1:13-14