Saying goodbye to Q2

It’s that time of the year again!  Finals begin in a week!  Eeek!

I’ve provided this schedule pretty selfishly, asking that you would lift up my classmates and I in prayer as we try to stay strong to the end of this Winter Quarter.

I'm also becoming like my mother, grandmother, and sister, and am developing an addiction to crossing things off to-do lists. Ahh... simple satisfaction!

Feb. 28 - Complete D.O.ctor exam and last anatomy lab and quiz

March 1 - OTM quiz, Immunology clinical case presentation

March 2 - Complete D.O.ctor practical
March 3-  Anatomy clinical case and quiz

March 4 - Block exams: Immunology final exam, Anatomy exam, Physiology exam; Anatomy lab report due

March 7 - OTM written comprehensive final

March 8 -  OTM practical, part I; Anatomy lab comprehensive final

March 9 - Anatomy written comprehensive  final

March 10 - OTM practical, part II

March 11 - Physiology comprehensive final

Here’s some encouragement that I received from Scripture this week at church.  I’m claiming them as my finals passages.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders [like facebook and food blogs] and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary or lose heart.”  Hebrews 12:1-3

“We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.  To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.”  Colossians 1:28-29

lost [in] wonder

When was it that I lost my sense of wonder?  Only a few months ago, I wrote in my journal about the goofy sense of awe that I inherited from my mother, about the things that cause me to stop and catch my breath.  

Here I am, a quarter and a bit of medical school later.  Less than one week past Christmas break.  I should be refreshed and ready to learn, right?

Wrong.  

I’m burnt out.  My brain hurts.  I begrudgingly attend classes.  Did I really at one point anticipate learning each day?  I seem to have lost my wonder.

Ahh... phototransmission...

I first noticed it the other day when we learned the basics of the biochemistry of vision.  Something that is so ridiculously intricate should make my jaw drop in complete amazement.  Instead, my jaw started complaining to my neighbor about how many steps and enzymes we’d have to memorize.

Who is that girl?  It can’t be me.  I know I’ve never been the best learner, and I often just memorize to memorize.  But this?  I am learning about the human body, for crying out loud!  This is something that fascinates me!  Or at least it used to.

Last night, I took some time to revisit some of my favorite Scriptures about God’s involvement in creation.

Dr. Iler (Head of the Chemistry Department at GC) used to open the first day of his classes by reading this verse: 

“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.”  Proverbs 25:2

He’d tell us that we have a royal privilege to be able to seek out the very things that God created for us to discover.  “It’s like a treasure hunt,” he’d say.

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Janelle T. taught me this verse as a song while we sat around a campfire in her backyard.  I often used to find myself humming the little tune (that she probably came up with while washing the dishes) as I studied.  I want to hear it in my head again.

“Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.”  Psalm 40:5

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I learned this verse in song form as well, from the Doughnut Man.  (Yes, the Doughnut Man).  I would shake my little limbs around the room, not really understanding that I was praising the one who created all of my “parts and pieces.”  I thought of this verse last night as I studied the attachment points of each upper limb muscle to the appropriate place on the underlying bony structures.  Yes, indeed, it is:

 “in him we live and move and have our being” Acts 17:28

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I quoted this verse in the journal entry that I wrote after my first week of medical school.  I was in complete awe of the opportunity I had to learn so many amazing details about the human body.  I praised with the Psalmist:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Psalm 139:13-14

I anticipated that knowing “full well” would become even fuller.

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Now here I am, wondering how to find my wonder.  Wonder… it has so many subtle meanings…

Wonder… to have a wish or desire to know something

Wonder… the feeling aroused by something strange or exciting

Wonder… to express doubtful speculation

Wonder… to be amazed or curious

I want all of those to be present in the academic portion of medical school.  I do not want to be dragged down by the tedium of the mile long to-do list that haunts my weekend.  I want to rejoice in the creation, glorify the Creator, and apply the knowledge I'm gaining for the service of those around me.

Sounds like a tall order to me.

For Christmas, Jeremy’s parents gave me this pretty bracelet that is inscribed with the words, “Dreams become reality one choice at a time.”

So today?  Today, I will chose to be lost in wonder.

words

I love words.

Here are some of the words that surround me as I sit at my desk:

Words of motivation...

I got this card in the mail this week from my brother Daniel :)

Words of inspiration...

Words of identification...

Words of thanks...

"Thank You God" in Inupiaq

Words of challenge...

Words of detailed description...

Words of togetherness...

Words of encouragement...

Words.  I love 'em.


One of the Greek words for word is logos.  It could be said that this means, "the embodiment of a conception or an idea."  What a beautiful way to describe such a precious gem!

A few synonyms for logos are "saying," "communication," or "account." In many places in the New Testament, it seems that the term is used to give emphasis to a colloquialism or something that a speaker is attempting to get across to an individual or group of people.

This is very interesting when we see how this logos is used in the introduction of the book of John: 

John 1:1-5 "In the beginning was the logos, and the logos was with God, and the logos was God. He was with God in the beginning."

and then again in John 1:14:

"The logos became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

What is this word of which John speaks?  It is clearly a logos of God.  What conception or idea is God attempting to embody?  To whom is He conveying it?

According to the passage, it is a word straight from God, in fact it even is God.  It is a descriptor of the glory of His perfect only Son.  As such, this logos is ancient, from the very beginning.  It is the description of all the grace that we give each other, and all of the grace that we too often withhold.  This is the logos of which John speaks.  In a world of deception and lies, this logos was filled to the brim with truth.

What kind of a word could possibly be this wonderful?  It sounds like a word only fit for heaven.

But no, John tells us that this word was wrapped in flesh and dwelt among us.  Now we have defined the "to whom."  It is a logos to the world.


What is this word?  And if it is a word that is defined by human likeness, who could possibly be described by this definition?


This Christmas, may we share words of encouragement, of inspiration, of thanks, and togetherness, but most importantly, may we seek to define that wonderful word, the logos.  I challenge you to try to figure out just what idea God wanted to share with us through His logos, which He spoke into the world on that first Christmas night.

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel- which means, 'God with us.'"   Isaiah 7:14

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped;
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place 
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, 
in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."                          Philippians 2:5-11

 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.

The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth"        John 1:1-15

Things with Wings

Today I saw a tiny lavender moth perched atop one of the season’s last dandelions. I was so excited to see him there that I became almost giddy. Yeah... I'm a dork like that.  Winged things have always made me excited. Every time a flock of sparrows swoops down in front of me, my breath catches in awe. The silvery thin wings of dragonflies cause me to stop in wonder. Even the man-made flying machines- planes, hot air balloons, gliders, kites- even seeing them makes me feel like an excited child on the inside.

Last week, Jeremy told me that he thinks that the purpose of each of our desires here on earth is to cause us to long for something greater, something we have to look forward to in our heavenly home. I think he was talking about getting crowns in heaven... but I started thinking, "Does this potentially mean that one day I too will be able to fly?"

One of my favorite poems by Emily Dickinson describes hope as a thing with wings. The poem reads,

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.”

(“Hope is the Thing with Feathers” by Emily Dickinson)

Last week in Sunday School as our teacher was leading us in a discussion of 2 Corinthians 4 and 5, he made the observation that throughout the joys and difficulties of life, Christians always have hope.  According to the end of chapter 4, this is because we don't have to focus on the trials of today, but we can look forward to our hope that will come. He made the bold statement that living without hope might as well be hell on earth.

Hope. It’s necessary to have. But what is it? The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the action of hoping as “to cherish a desire with anticipation.” This definition brings to mind a Scripture that has been ridiculously encouraging to me the past few months.

Romans 5:1-5 says, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

Hope. According to this passage, we gain it because of our justification through faith. It's so sure that we're given permission to boast in it. We know that suffering won't take away our hope- it will only make it stronger. Hope doesn't disappoint us, not because we always get what we "hope" for, but because the love of God is continually being poured out on us through His Spirit! THAT is hope.

Hope... to cherish with anticipation... What we hope in will not disappoint... We are to fix our eyes on (or hope for) what is unseen, not what is seen... God gives us desires so that we'll long for our heavenly home...

Perhaps the Lord knew that we would have a fascination with flight. Maybe that’s why King David described God as a thing with wings as well. He said of God, “He will cover you with his feathers,and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” (Psalm 91:4)

Moths, hope, refuge... it's funny what things my brain ties together some days...

Maybe it's just a startling realization, like Sara Groves' song says,  

"Hope has a way of turning its face to you just when you least expect it.  You walk in a room , you look out a window [or in my case, walk into a parking lot] and something there leaves you breathless.  You say to yourself, 'it's been a while since I felt this but it feels like it might be hope.'" 

No matter how strange it is, I like being reminded of hope.

Lord, Thank You for giving me a hope in what is eternal. Give me eyes to see the unseen. What a strange paradox, but You have called me to it. Please teach me not to invest so much "hope" in the temporary things that will disappoint, like tests and deadlines.  Thank You for Your love which continually pours out on me.  Thank You for covering me with Your wings, especially now as I run to You in refuge. I echo the Psalmist as he praises, “Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 63:7) Thank You for all Your winged creatures and for the wonder and amazement that they bring. Will I get to fly in heaven? If so, that would be awesome. If not, I guess I’ll be content to marvel at the angels.

I love you.

Catherine