tent

Disclaimer: If this post if found to be offensive to anyone, please inform me, and I will remove it.  My goal was to sensitive, yet transparent.

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad." 2 Corinthians 5:1-10

I had dreaded this day for several years. The day that I would meet my first patient.

She isn’t just any patient. I am not trying to heal her, but am trying to learn from her.

I had spent a considerable part of the previous week mentally detaching myself from touching a dead human, but Dr. Uray ruined that for me. Before heading over to the lab building that dreaded day, we had a lecture in our classroom. Dr. Uray spoke about the honor it is to be gifted with a body, and the responsibility that goes along with it. He read an essay and a poem about the relationship between the student and the body, and between the body and the life from which it came. My mental detachment came reattached. My stomach became queasy, and tears began to fill my eyes at the thought of a stranger giving their body so that I can become a more competent physician.

Only a few moments later, my lab partner slowly unzipped the blue vinyl tarp bag. She has been deceased for awhile now. Her skin was cold. Her eyes sealed shut, never to open again. I noted general body structures, surface abnormalities, and quickly covered her again. I imagined her making that decision in the last days of her life, choosing to serve a girl whom she would never meet in such a large capacity. I then viewed a chart- not her medical file, but merely an excel document that contained the bare details of the bodies that occupied each table in the room. All we gleaned were her age of death, cause of death, and whether or not her family members wanted her ashes at the conclusion of our class. In respect to the patient, these details have been omitted from this reflection.

The experience was both unnerving and humbling.

I've never really had to deal with death. I mean, I had touched cadavers before, but only with their heads covered and chest cavities exposed. I’ve only been to three funerals, but never of anyone extremely close.

My brain kept on wandering back to the beginning of 2 Corinthians 5. The apostle Paul discussed our body as a tent. Something as a sort of temporal dwelling. Definitely not permanent. He says that now our bodies groan, longing to be covered in their heavenly dwelling. This earthly tent is messed up. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t be pursuing this profession. My first patient died of a disease. I wonder if she ever groaned in longing for her heavenly body as her earthly body gave way?

I remember that farther in 2 Corinthians 5, the apostle greatly anticipates his departure from his tent. He seems to emphasize that for those who believe, death is not a scary prospect. It is a hope in a better future, one in which we will discard these aching, temporal, dwellings and exchange them for one imperishable.

Did she know this when she died? I do not know. All I know is that she has left me her tent.




Because the body is only a tent, I am able to glean knowledge from one who has passed. Because the body is a tent- one in which the Holy Spirit dwells, I must bring it to proper health so that it is fit for His lodging. Because the body is only a tent, I do not have to fear death. Because the body is only a tent, I can anticipate a more permanent residence for my soul. Because the body is only a temporal tent, I must inform those around me that this tent is not the end, but that our souls can move on to an eternal home.

This is my body,

The shell of my being

Which is given to you.

In the final offering

To the world

I share the elements of life.

From these old bones,

These ligaments,

My sinews and my nerves

May that life force

That ran in me

Shine forth once more

And pass to you

The Knowledge and the power

That help sustain

The miracle of life.

-Unknown