Looking Up: Perspectives on Privilege

priv·i·lege  (prv-lj, prvlj)n.1. a. A special advantage, immunity, permission, right, or benefit granted to or enjoyed by an individual, class, or caste. 


“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

Last night, I returned to Kirksville after spending a wonderful three-day weekend in St. Louis with Jeremy. We were ridiculously productive almost all weekend long (with breaks for the City Museum and Ted Drewes frozen custard), but at one point on Saturday night, my mind began to wander away from the study of Nervous System Histology.

I mulled to myself in my brain,

“Ugh. I have to go home tomorrow. I should NOT have to be spending some of my last precious few hours with Jeremy studying.” 

I had also recently found out that one of my brothers had shot a deer in the morning, another had broken his arm, and my sister was seeing one of my favorite musical artists in concert that evening.

From that point on, a pity party ensued.

*grumble grumble*

“If I didn’t have so much to do, I would have just gone home this weekend, and then I could have seen David’s deer and gone to the concert with Anna.” 

*grumble grumble*

“On top of that, why am I working so hard anyway? No one else is studying this weekend. Besides, I study all the time and still fail most of my tests. Why blow this beautiful break if I'll probably fail even if I do study?” 

*grumble grumble*

“Why does this school dump so much material on me at one time? Don’t they know that we want to have lives?” 

*grumble grumble*

“Why am I even in medical school anyway? It’s way too hard.” 

*influx of tears*


*puzzled boyfriend looks up from Quantum Mechanics homework*


After a few Kleenexes and a reminder from Jeremy that life isn’t all that bad, I retreated to his bathroom to wash my face and talk to God a little bit.

In His ever-so-gentle, yet direct way, He manipulated my perspective ever-so-slightly.

He reminded me that it is a privilege to be able to sit in the same room as my boyfriend as we plod through our homework. The alternative? Studying in my apartment or library by myself.  Not nearly such a treat.

Although it is hard work, and I’m not exactly seeing the fruits of my labor yet, being in medical school is a privilege. It can quickly begin to feel like drudgery when I look at the small picture of day-to-day tasks, but I need to look at the big picture.  I have been selected out of several thousand of applicants to be at this school this year. As a matter of fact, even though my grades in undergrad weren’t the best, nor was my application all that impressive, I obtained one of the first five slots in the class of 2014 out of 172.  That's the "before" part of my med school story.  I'm currently in the tunnel vision of the "during" part of my story.  With the history of how God has gone before me to make a way for me to attend medical school, how much more will He do to get me through it... and also how much more will He use it?

I guess it’s all how you look at it, huh?

How ironic that Jeremy’s pastor at Harvester Christian Church preached on contentment yesterday, only hours after my bathroom conversation with the Lord. Pastor Brian challenged us to look for ways to be thankful for EVERYTHING in our lives, stating “It could always be worse.”  He cited the apostle Paul, who said:

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:10-13

Paul made it clear that he had to learn the secret of being content.  It wasn't something that he inherently knew.  He was given the opportunity through circumstances much more dire than having to do homework over Fall Break.  Even then, he was able to claim the Lord's strength and be thankful in all circumstances.

May we be encouraged to imitate the apostle Paul in his quest to learn the secret of contentment.  Perhaps it lies in what he admonished the Philippians to do only a few verses earlier:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Dear Lord,

Thank You for Your good gifts. Please teach me to look for the positive that You place in every situation, and to be content whatever the circumstances. Protect me from the dangerous pity parties that inhibit me from appreciating the gifts you have given me.  What a privilege it is to be able to live in Your grace- truly a gift we don't deserve.  Please use this medical school experience to mold me into the woman that You intend for me to be. Thanks again!

Love,

Catherine